We have all heard about helicopter parents. We have all seen them in action. We even may “helicopter” ourselves sometimes. Research shows that this style of parenting leads to kids being more fearful, anxious, dependent and self-conscious.
I found a parenting term that refers to a much healthier and more likable kind of parenting, “Lighthouse parenting,” by Alexandra, Founder of Big Life Journal. She compares lighthouse parenting to being an unwavering beacon of light for kids and thus the parent represents a steady guide for their child.
According to Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, “You should look down at the rocks and make sure they don’t crash against them. Look into the waves and trust that they will learn to ride them.” Being a lighthouse parent is all about my favorite word …..balance.
Alexandra points out that, by choosing to be a lighthouse parent, it’s essential to distinguish between “rocks” and “waves.” “Rocks” are obvious signs of dangers like getting into a car with a friend who has been drinking. When your child is heading towards a “rock,” it is necessary to step in to keep them safe.“Waves” are tough challenges that may result in mistakes, failure, and natural consequences, such as failing a test or being late to school. A lighthouse parent will let their child ride the waves.
The main difference between a helicopter parent and a lighthouse parent is that a helicopter parent hovers and jumps in to rescue their child from danger (AKA experiences and mistakes) while a lighthouse parent will observe from a distance making sure their child is safe and loved, but able to make “safer” mistakes and learn resilience.
Lastly, Alexandra says “Watch out for the “rocks” but let your child handle the “waves”. This way, when your child is ready to face the world, they’re prepared.
©siahfriedcoach.com