As a health educator for over 30 years, I have spent my career promoting healthy behaviors, to prevent chronic disease. A majority of chronic disease is caused by overweight and obesity thus, I have spent years teaching about its dangers and promoting prevention behaviors as well. However, when it comes to helping teens, we need to be especially considerate of the words we choose. As a parent or health care provider, what you say matters. If you are concerned about a teen’s weight, please choose your words carefully. Here is some advice on how to handle weight and foods concerns with a kid. WHY WORDS MATTER Avoid any mention of their weight or eating behaviors. Any comments about a kid’s weight can trigger unhealthy behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, obsessing about calories, purging, and overexercising. Model positive body talk yourself. Be mindful about what you say about your body and weight. Make “fat” and “diet” bad words in your own vocabulary. Be mindful of mental health. Have you noticed your child being overly concerned with food, calories, or fat consumption? Have you noticed any emotional eating or negative body talk? Is it something you can help turn around or is it bigger? If your child needs a therapist, think of it as a strong tool for them to have in their ever growing tool box. It isn’t a weakness. If you notice any of these behaviors, reach out to a health professional to help your child find healthy coping techniques. Avoid teasing about what or how much they are eating. Teasing during adolescence is associated with unhealthy weight-control behaviors and binge-eating in adults. Talk about portion sizes on food labels in a positive and conversational way. Avoid lecturing or criticizing your child’s food choices. Encourage kids to listen to their body and eat when hungry and stop when full. Always encourage three meals a day. Skipping meals often leads to overeating later. TIPS FOR POSITIVE CONVERSATIONS F is the “F word” for “fat”. No need to say “obese” either. “Fat shaming” — weight bias and discrimination — is all too prevalent in our world. Discuss your effort to avoid these labels with other family members, friends and your child’s doctor and ask that they also avoid these labels. Ditch the scale. The focus should be on health, not on the number on the scale. Increased frequency of self-weighing during high school may damage a teen’s self-esteem and mental health. Frequently remind your child of their strengths and unique qualities which can help with self-esteem and even resilience when they have a challenge in their life. It will reinforce the importance of knowing our strengths so we can connect to them to help power through tough times. PROMOTING HEALTHY EATING HABITS Avoid the “D” word. Half of all teenage girls and 1 in 4 teenage boys have tried dieting. Teens who diet have lower self-esteem, feel less connected to their families and schools, and feel less in control of their lives. Dieting is a risk factor for both obesity and eating disorders. Making changes in food choices is not the same as dieting. Take your child grocery shopping to teach them how to choose foods for well-balanced meals. Demonstrate healthy food talk. No foods are bad vs. good. Rather, there are “growing foods” and “sometimes foods.” I have found kids really relate well to these categories. If you need help explaining to kids how important “growing foods” are in helping their bodies stay healthy and how they actually make kids grow, please email me for a consult Siah_fried@yahoo.com. Promoting healthy habits in teensBody Image in teensTalking to teens about healthy weightAvoiding diet talk with kidsSupporting teen mental healthHow to discuss food with teensHealthy eating habits for teensRisks of fat shaming and dieting in teensTips for positive food conversations siah fried I am a Parent Health Coach. I support parents of children working through eating disorders, disordered eating, body image & nutrition challenges. With 30 years as a clinical health educator as well as 17 years as a health, nutrition, and women’s health professor, author, researcher, and family member of eating disorder survivors, I am here to help.
