Building trust with your child starts from birth but often becomes more challenging as they grow older. Many parents fear sharing too much information or initiating important conversations too early, which can create hesitation in fostering open communication. The best approach is to stick to the facts, answer honestly, and tailor your response to your child’s age and maturity level. Be consistent with this approach throughout your child’s life.
As parents, one of our biggest goals is to prevent our child from drinking and using substances. Author and “puberty coach” Matthias Jung stresses that early intervention is key, noting that waiting until ages 15 or 16 is too late; by age 13, last-minute education is less effective. Talk to your kids about drugs, smoking, vaping and drug use, abuse, and addiction. Don’t shy away from it. If you don’t know enough about the subjects or are not comfortable, reach out to an expert (I can help).
A study from the University of California San Diego found that parental monitoring effectively deters substance use. Published in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, it shows that many teens avoid drugs and alcohol because they know their behavior is being watched.
Lead researcher William Pelham emphasizes that parents can make a difference, as the fear of being caught is a strong deterrent, not just the threat of punishment.
a study from the University of Illinois by Kelly Tu shows that parental guidance still matters. Published in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, it found early discussions, even if ignored, leave a positive impact.
Jung believes the true sign of effective parenting is when a teen trusts their parents enough to seek help after mistakes, like calling them when stranded drunk at 1 am.
However, he warns against “helicopter parenting,” which can stifle a teen’s ability to navigate life independently. Giving teens room to experiment and fail is key to fostering independence, creativity, and resilience. Over-involvement can hinder their growth, as seen in how young innovators like Mark Zuckerberg thrived without overbearing guidance.
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