The Pressure to Be Perfect
For years, families have been influenced—often unconsciously—by society’s narrow definition of what makes a “good” family. The message is everywhere: success looks like wealth, straight A’s, excellent athletes and musicians, college acceptances, and résumés polished to perfection. Parents have been increasingly measured by themselves and others according to their children’s performance, while kids absorb the belief their worth is tied to constant achievement.
But here’s the truth: this model is harming children’s mental health, increasing anxiety, stress, and feelings of inadequacy. Parents feel the weight as well, caught between the fear of pushing too hard and the guilt of not doing enough. Other parents, students, schools, colleges and athletic coaches reiterate this narrative contributing to the frenzy around the unachievable, unhealthy checklist leading everyone to distress and burnout.
When “One Standard” Creates Stress and Burnout
The pressure to achieve by one standard—the one defined by society—creates a cycle of stress, comparison, and inadequacy. While some kids thrive under this structure, many don’t. And when children feel like they’re falling short, the consequences are serious: rising rates of anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and burnout. Social media intensifies this pressure, constantly reinforcing the illusion of perfection.
Redefining Success: A Family-Centered Approach
What if families could redefine success on their own terms? Instead of chasing grades, awards, or societal expectations, what if parents focused on their child’s strengths, passions, values, and well-being? Research shows that children who pursue goals aligned with their authentic selves experience greater happiness, healthier motivation, and long-term resilience.
That’s the foundation of my upcoming book, Redefining Success for Every Child: The Family, Flow & Fit Approach to Achieving Personal Best. This book empowers parents to release the pressure of perfection and guide their children toward their personal best—where healthy challenge and even failure build growth, but never at the cost of mental health or self-worth.
A Companion Book to Break Generational Patterns
I’m also excited to share the launch of This Stops Now: Shattering the Pattern of Perfection, Pressure, and Parenting on Overdrive. This book helps families identify generational patterns that may no longer serve them. Once we recognize what we need to change, we can take action and break unhealthy cycles of comparison and overachievement. This allows parents to use practical tools to foster resilience, self-confidence, and emotional well-being in their children.
Together, these books provide strategies for raising kids who thrive as whole human beings, not just academically accomplished students.
What Parents Are Saying About Redefining Success
“I had so many parenting books gathering dust on my shelf, but this one was totally different. It’s short, but packs quite a punch. It breaks down essential strategies in such a clear, approachable way that makes them very palatable to a busy working mom like myself. I started using some of the ideas right away and loved that they were all based on research and evidence. The kicker was that because of its length and engaging contents, my parents and other caregivers have picked it up and started using some of the strategies with my kindergartner too. As far as impact, I noticed some positive changes right away in both my daughter’s behavior and most importantly, around mitigating my stress around always questioning my own technique. I seriously hope Siah makes this a first in a series.” P. Ansari
Holiday Launch and Special Bundles
Both books will be launching in the next month—just in time for the holidays. Families can take advantage of book bundles or book-and-coaching packages, perfect for parents looking for practical strategies to raise resilient, happy kids.
Join Us Locally: Fireside Chat for Parents
If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you at:
Wednesday, September 24th, 6:30 PM
Fireside Chat for Parents of Teens and Young Adults
Richert Lumber Ace Hardware
This evening offers a chance to connect with other parents, discuss parenting challenges in breakout groups, and leave with evidence-based strategies to support your child’s mental health, well-being, and personal growth. Tickets won’t be available at the door, so use this link to reserve your spot now!
Stay tuned—the books are almost here, and I can’t wait to share them with you. Email siah_fried@yahoo.com if you want to get on the waitlist for the holiday book bundles (put book bundle in the subject line)
Because it stops here. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Learn more about my Move FORWARD program with this link