Emotional regulation skills are buzz words among parenting experts right now. Emotional regulating may require re-learning and more awareness by a parent interested in adapting them. Essentially, emotionally regulating oneself pertains to an individual’s capacity to refrain from immediate reactions. These skills manifest during the interval between impulse and action, as individuals evaluate their natural inclinations against their desired responses. In other words, find your own coping skill such as taking a deep breath or walk away before reacting to your child’s big emotion. If a parent can be grounded themself then they can be calm for their child. When calmness prevails between parent and child during a tough moment, a teaching moment can result and less angst is present between both. A phrase I learned from Jai Institute of Parenting certification program is, “Anchor yourself so you can be a safe harbor for your child.”
Many parents of kids who grew up in 1960’s through 80’s didn’t regulate their emotions before disciplining or reacting to a child’s behavior. It’s not that this necessarily led to bad parenting, it was just more reactive parenting. We are now finding with the increase in anxiety among kids that it is helpful for a parent to regulate their own emotions first before responding to an upset child.
For support on mental health or parenting challenges for you or your child, use this link to book a 30 minute free Discovery call.