Redefining Success in a World of Unreal Expectations
In today’s world, the definition of success is often unclear, especially for young people. Redefining success in a world of unrealistic expectations can provide a strong foundation for your entire family’s growth and future. Social media’s unrealistic portrayals of success can further complicate things by masking the struggles behind achievements. Society tends to value high grades, athletic success, and excellence in extracurricular activities, but these markers of success don’t always reflect what’s truly important to families. Many families I speak to don’t even realize that these societal pressures are contributing to stress and feelings of inadequacy. Instead of focusing on external expectations, redefining success based on your family’s values, and your child’s individual strengths, passions, and interests, can be a refreshing and healthy path forward. This approach fosters resilience, reduces stress, and supports better mental health. Have you ever taken a moment to define success for yourself or your child? Understanding what success means to both parents and kids can be an eye-opening exercise. In parenting workshops I offer, I ask parents and children to define success. Many parents were surprised to see that their kids valued achievements like good grades, college acceptance, athleticism, and popularity more than qualities like kindness or giving back—values parents often prioritize. This difference in perspectives is an opportunity for families to connect, communicate, and align their values. Here’s a simple activity you can do to define or redefine success with your child: How to Define/Redefine Success with Your Child: While it’s great when the lists align, differences can spark important conversations. One mother shared how her daughter ranked straight A’s and attending a “good” college as her top measures of success. The mother, however, valued traits like kindness, self-confidence, and a strong work ethic above academic achievements. This discussion helped both of them redefine success. The daughter felt relieved when her mom emphasized finding a college that matched her interests and personality rather than focusing on prestige. Navigating Unrealistic and Realistic Expectations for Success Conversations about success can be a real eye-opener for parents. One mother realized that without ongoing discussions about what success truly means, outside influences—such as peers, coaches, teachers, and social media—might define it for her child. Another parent reflected on how she placed the highest value on grades and athletic achievements as markers of her daughter’s success, a mindset shaped by societal values like financial status, prestigious job titles, and elite colleges. While these external measures aren’t inherently wrong, relying solely on them can overshadow what truly matters to a family. Redefining Success Based on Strengths and Interests It’s crucial for families to reflect on their own values and align them with their child’s unique strengths and interests. Doing so fosters a healthier, more resilient mindset for both parents and children. This shift helps reduce feelings of failure and replaces them with a sense of empowerment, recognizing that success looks different for everyone. In a world that often prioritizes external markers of achievement, such as grades and job titles, redefining success is especially important for developing brains. External pressures can harm self-esteem, increase stress, and contribute to mental health challenges. By valuing personal strengths and individual interests, families can build a foundation for lifelong resilience and well-being. Empower Your Child to Redefine Success to Fit Their Individual Path As your child grows, it’s crucial to keep an open dialogue about what’s truly important. By understanding each other’s perspectives, parents can guide their children toward becoming lifelong learners rather than focusing solely on climbing the success ladder. This helps build resilience, as children feel empowered to define their own path in a complex and sometimes overwhelming world. Encouraging your child to think critically about success, and aligning their values, is a powerful step toward fostering both resilience and good mental health in today’s challenging world. Adapted from the book, Persuasive Push vs. Shameless Shove: A New Parenting Paradigm. Find our more about this book here
Parenting Neurodivergent Children: How to Build Connection and Confidence
The Challenge When Joanna* and James* reached out to Siah, they were at their breaking point. Parenting two neurodivergent children—one with ADD and one with Autism—was emotionally and physically draining. They craved connection to parents with similar parenting challenges. James worked long hours, leaving Joanna feeling isolated and overwhelmed as the primary caregiver. She knew she needed to build her community and increase her confidence, but was unsure what to do or who to turn to for support. As they move through their journey of parenting neurodivergent children, they n Joanna often compared her family to the “perfect” lives she saw on social media, which only deepened her sadness. She felt it was unfair that others seemed to have it so much easier and struggled with a sense of isolation, believing no one could truly understand her challenges. “I felt so alone, like no one else was going through what I was. Seeing other families who seemed to have it all together just made me feel worse.” The Approach: Move FORWARD Coaching Through the Move FORWARD program, Siah provided Joanna with the tools, support, and perspective to regain confidence and find a sense of community. The program provided Joanna with a fresh perspective and practical parenting strategies by focusing on the following areas The Results Joanna experienced a significant shift in her mindset and approach to parenting: “Talking with Siah was a turning point for me. She helped me see that I wasn’t alone and that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with my family. I started reaching out to other parents in similar situations, and it was such a relief to connect with people who truly understood.” She began reconnecting with old friends and found an online community of parents with neurodivergent children. This gave her a safe space to share her challenges and celebrate her victories. “I’ve learned to stop comparing my family to others. Instead, I’m focusing on what makes our family unique and special. Siah helped me feel proud of how far we’ve come.” A Brighter Future Today, Joanna feels more confident and supported. She has tools to manage her overwhelm, a stronger connection with her husband, and a growing sense of community. She’s embraced her role as a parent of neurodivergent children with resilience and grace. “The Move FORWARD program didn’t just help me cope—it gave me the confidence to thrive. I no longer feel isolated, and I’m so grateful for the connections and strategies I’ve gained through working with Siah.” Your Journey Starts Here Parenting can feel isolating, especially when facing unique challenges. But you’re not alone, and support is available. If you’re ready to find balance, build resilience, and connect with others who understand your journey, the Move FORWARD program is here to help. Contact us today to take the first step toward a more confident, connected future. (*Names changed for privacy.)
The Impact of Helicopter Parenting -Article Link
Explore the effects of helicopter parenting on youth and learn strategies to support children’s growth through natural consequences. Discover the Jai Institute’s frameworks, ANCHOR and HARBOR, which highlight how to become a safe harbor for your child, fostering resilience and independence while maintaining a supportive presence without the need to micromanage your children.
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