Redefining Success in a World of Unreal Expectations
In today’s world, the definition of success is often unclear, especially for young people. Redefining success in a world of unrealistic expectations can provide a strong foundation for your entire family’s growth and future. Social media’s unrealistic portrayals of success can further complicate things by masking the struggles behind achievements. Society tends to value high grades, athletic success, and excellence in extracurricular activities, but these markers of success don’t always reflect what’s truly important to families. Many families I speak to don’t even realize that these societal pressures are contributing to stress and feelings of inadequacy. Instead of focusing on external expectations, redefining success based on your family’s values, and your child’s individual strengths, passions, and interests, can be a refreshing and healthy path forward. This approach fosters resilience, reduces stress, and supports better mental health. Have you ever taken a moment to define success for yourself or your child? Understanding what success means to both parents and kids can be an eye-opening exercise. In parenting workshops I offer, I ask parents and children to define success. Many parents were surprised to see that their kids valued achievements like good grades, college acceptance, athleticism, and popularity more than qualities like kindness or giving back—values parents often prioritize. This difference in perspectives is an opportunity for families to connect, communicate, and align their values. Here’s a simple activity you can do to define or redefine success with your child: How to Define/Redefine Success with Your Child: While it’s great when the lists align, differences can spark important conversations. One mother shared how her daughter ranked straight A’s and attending a “good” college as her top measures of success. The mother, however, valued traits like kindness, self-confidence, and a strong work ethic above academic achievements. This discussion helped both of them redefine success. The daughter felt relieved when her mom emphasized finding a college that matched her interests and personality rather than focusing on prestige. Navigating Unrealistic and Realistic Expectations for Success Conversations about success can be a real eye-opener for parents. One mother realized that without ongoing discussions about what success truly means, outside influences—such as peers, coaches, teachers, and social media—might define it for her child. Another parent reflected on how she placed the highest value on grades and athletic achievements as markers of her daughter’s success, a mindset shaped by societal values like financial status, prestigious job titles, and elite colleges. While these external measures aren’t inherently wrong, relying solely on them can overshadow what truly matters to a family. Redefining Success Based on Strengths and Interests It’s crucial for families to reflect on their own values and align them with their child’s unique strengths and interests. Doing so fosters a healthier, more resilient mindset for both parents and children. This shift helps reduce feelings of failure and replaces them with a sense of empowerment, recognizing that success looks different for everyone. In a world that often prioritizes external markers of achievement, such as grades and job titles, redefining success is especially important for developing brains. External pressures can harm self-esteem, increase stress, and contribute to mental health challenges. By valuing personal strengths and individual interests, families can build a foundation for lifelong resilience and well-being. Empower Your Child to Redefine Success to Fit Their Individual Path As your child grows, it’s crucial to keep an open dialogue about what’s truly important. By understanding each other’s perspectives, parents can guide their children toward becoming lifelong learners rather than focusing solely on climbing the success ladder. This helps build resilience, as children feel empowered to define their own path in a complex and sometimes overwhelming world. Encouraging your child to think critically about success, and aligning their values, is a powerful step toward fostering both resilience and good mental health in today’s challenging world. Adapted from the book, Persuasive Push vs. Shameless Shove: A New Parenting Paradigm. Find our more about this book here
Parenting Neurodivergent Children: How to Build Connection and Confidence
The Challenge When Joanna* and James* reached out to Siah, they were at their breaking point. Parenting two neurodivergent children—one with ADD and one with Autism—was emotionally and physically draining. They craved connection to parents with similar parenting challenges. James worked long hours, leaving Joanna feeling isolated and overwhelmed as the primary caregiver. She knew she needed to build her community and increase her confidence, but was unsure what to do or who to turn to for support. As they move through their journey of parenting neurodivergent children, they n Joanna often compared her family to the “perfect” lives she saw on social media, which only deepened her sadness. She felt it was unfair that others seemed to have it so much easier and struggled with a sense of isolation, believing no one could truly understand her challenges. “I felt so alone, like no one else was going through what I was. Seeing other families who seemed to have it all together just made me feel worse.” The Approach: Move FORWARD Coaching Through the Move FORWARD program, Siah provided Joanna with the tools, support, and perspective to regain confidence and find a sense of community. The program provided Joanna with a fresh perspective and practical parenting strategies by focusing on the following areas The Results Joanna experienced a significant shift in her mindset and approach to parenting: “Talking with Siah was a turning point for me. She helped me see that I wasn’t alone and that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with my family. I started reaching out to other parents in similar situations, and it was such a relief to connect with people who truly understood.” She began reconnecting with old friends and found an online community of parents with neurodivergent children. This gave her a safe space to share her challenges and celebrate her victories. “I’ve learned to stop comparing my family to others. Instead, I’m focusing on what makes our family unique and special. Siah helped me feel proud of how far we’ve come.” A Brighter Future Today, Joanna feels more confident and supported. She has tools to manage her overwhelm, a stronger connection with her husband, and a growing sense of community. She’s embraced her role as a parent of neurodivergent children with resilience and grace. “The Move FORWARD program didn’t just help me cope—it gave me the confidence to thrive. I no longer feel isolated, and I’m so grateful for the connections and strategies I’ve gained through working with Siah.” Your Journey Starts Here Parenting can feel isolating, especially when facing unique challenges. But you’re not alone, and support is available. If you’re ready to find balance, build resilience, and connect with others who understand your journey, the Move FORWARD program is here to help. Contact us today to take the first step toward a more confident, connected future. (*Names changed for privacy.)
How to Calm Your Child’s Fear of School Shootings
School shootings have become a top concern for many American parents, and if you’re struggling to manage your child’s fear of these events, you’re not alone. As a health and wellness expert who has worked closely with families, I deeply understand how overwhelming this fear can be—it’s one of my own greatest worries as well. As a parent, I know how vital it is to support your child through such anxieties, especially when it comes to the fear of school shootings. In this guide, I’ll share expert strategies on how to calm your child’s fear of school shootings and provide practical advice to help your family cope with this difficult reality 1. Listen to Your Child’s Concerns One of the most powerful ways to help children feel safe is to listen calmly and carefully to their worries. This allows you to understand their fears and address them in a way that feels supportive and reassuring. It’s important to separate your fears from your child’s. 2. Foster Open and Honest Communication Experts emphasize the importance of having age-appropriate conversations about school safety. Children often reflect their parents’ emotions, so it’s vital to remain calm and reassuring during these discussions. Talk about the safety measures in place at their school and encourage them to speak up if they ever feel unsafe. 3. Manage Your Own Fears Dr. Janine Domingues of the Child Mind Institute advises parents to regulate their emotions before discussing active shooter events with their children. Research shows that kids are less anxious about such events unless they pick up on their parents’ stress. To help manage your fears: 4. Be Proactive and Informed Finding Perspective and Building Resilience While the rise in gun violence in schools is deeply concerning, it’s important to remember that mass shootings remain rare. This fact, while not entirely comforting, can provide some perspective as we navigate these fears. By managing our own anxiety, we create a foundation of emotional stability, structure, and predictability for our children. Though we can’t protect them from every harm, we can equip them with the resilience and confidence to face an uncertain world. Together, let’s work toward a safer future while fostering a sense of calm and security in our homes.
Trust=The Key to Effective Parenting
Building trust with your child starts at birth and becomes more challenging as they grow. Open communication is essential, but many parents worry about sharing too much or having tough conversations too soon. The key is to be honest, stick to the facts, and tailor discussions to your child’s age. Consistency is crucial in fostering trust and open dialogue over time.
When addressing substance use, early intervention is critical. Author Matthias Jung emphasizes discussing topics like smoking, vaping, drugs, and addiction before age 13 for greater impact. If you’re unsure how to approach these conversations, seek help from an expert.
Just Me…. Alone In The Sea
A teenage athlete and straight A student describes the pressure and stress she felt to achieve was like being in the ocean without support. She says she felt like all her parents could do was send her a lifeboat to rescue her from the waves and riptides overwhelming her as she fought to stay afloat.
The Impact of Helicopter Parenting -Article Link
Explore the effects of helicopter parenting on youth and learn strategies to support children’s growth through natural consequences. Discover the Jai Institute’s frameworks, ANCHOR and HARBOR, which highlight how to become a safe harbor for your child, fostering resilience and independence while maintaining a supportive presence without the need to micromanage your children.
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