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When Mother Knows Best: How to Tune into Instinct

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I remember sitting in the doctor’s office with my daughter, my gut tightening with quiet concern. Her eating habits had shifted, and there was new, uncomfortable body talk creeping into our conversations. I was cautious, yes-but not yet scared. Until the nurse noticed her heart rate had dropped significantly since her last visit. Then came the words that changed everything: “Some sort of eating disorder.” Just like that, the world tilted. My breath caught. I’m a clinical health educator. I’ve helped patients in a clinic with eating disorders. At the time I was a teacher who had taught both high school and college students about eating disorders. I’ve supported students through recovery. My extended family is no stranger to these struggles. But this? This was my daughter. And in that moment, I wasn’t a professional—I was a mom, scared and overwhelmed. What followed wasn’t clarity or guidance—it was confusion, defiance, and disconnection. The medical team quickly slotted her into a standard treatment plan: a four-times-a-week program that never quite fit. Every instinct in my body told me it was wrong. She pushed back. Our relationship strained. And still, I kept showing up, trusting the experts—while silently screaming inside that we were on the wrong path. What I didn’t have then was someone to walk with me. Someone who could look me in the eye and say,“You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. And yes—there is another way.” So I became that person. For her. And now, for other parents. One thing I’ve noticed with almost every parent I work with—whether their child is struggling with physical health, mental health, or specifically an eating disorder—is the overwhelming mix of emotions they carry. Guilt. Anger. Sadness. Disappointment. I’ve felt them too. One parent said it perfectly: “It’s just not fair that he has to deal with this. He should be able to enjoy his teenage years and be more carefree.”                             She’s right. It isn’t fair. But the truth is, life’s not fair—and when kids face challenges early on and are taught how to cope in healthy ways, they become more resilient and better prepared for life. Every family is carrying something. If it’s not mental or physical health, it might be grief, divorce, discrimination, or another hidden struggle that no one talks about. We’re all taught to put on a game face—especially on social media. That pressure to appear perfect adds to our stress. And we start to feel like we’re failing compared to all the “perfect” families online. Our kids feel it too. Only harder. Their brains aren’t fully developed yet, so they can’t sort through it like we can. With her permission, I shared these thoughts with that client—and she exhaled. Sometimes we just need to hear that we’re not alone. Because authentic parenting doesn’t always look pretty. It doesn’t fit the mold of a filtered Instagram story. But when you lead with honesty, care, and your values—your child feels it. And the hard stuff? That’s what builds character and resilience. That’s what I saw with my own kids. All three of them faced real challenges—and today, they’re stronger for it. My beautiful, brilliant daughter’s experience with disordered eating was one of the hardest seasons of our lives… and it led her down a path where she is now thriving as she works on her PsyD in graduate school many miles away from home. She worked in a residential site with severe young people with eating disorders and I wish I could tell you the difference she’s made in their lives. While she battled this in high school, I knew—deep down—that she would grow through it. But some days, we just had to lean into the frustration and say, “This isn’t fair.” And that’s okay too. That’s why I’m sharing this story in this week’s blog post:“When a Mother’s Instinct Speaks Louder Than Protocol: A Journey Through Eating Disorder Recovery.” It’s personal. It’s raw. And it holds the reminder I wish I had back then:  You’re not failing. You’re doing the hard, beautiful work of showing up. Facing the truth is hard. But avoiding it often costs more. When we show up authentically—even through pain—we create space for true healing. Some parents may accept alcohol or disordered eating as “just part of being a kid,” but for many, these patterns become addictions or lifelong mental health struggles. A real diagnosis might feel harder to face—but it also opens the door to real tools, real healing, and real connection. Choosing honesty and support now gives your child a better chance at long-term wellbeing. They’ll be more prepared for life as an adult—and as you know, it’s not always easy. But with support, they can take on life’s toughest battles and come out stronger.  

how to talk to your child about body image: Learn what to say and what to avoid
body, body dysmorphia, body dysmorphia coaching, body image, desired body image, dissatisfied with appearance, distorted body image, food restriction, health coach, healthy eating, parent coach, parent coaching, Uncategorized

How to Talk About Body Image: What to Say and What to Avoid

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How to talk to your child about body image: what to say and what to avoid can be like walking on eggshells. As a parent, watching your child struggle with body image can be heartbreaking. You want to say the right things to help them feel confident and secure, but it’s not always easy to know what those things are. The way we talk about bodies—our own and theirs—has a lasting impact. Small comments, even well-intended ones, can either build their self-esteem or reinforce insecurities. If your child is struggling with body image, here’s a guide on what to say (and what to avoid) to foster a positive and healthy self-view. A Personal Story: When My Child Questioned Their Body I’ll never forget the day my daughter stood in front of the mirror, tugging at her shirt, and asked, “Do I look fat?” She was only nine. My heart sank. I had worked so hard to create a positive environment around food and body image, yet here she was, already questioning her worth based on her appearance. Instead of dismissing her feelings or rushing to reassure her, I took a deep breath and asked, “What makes you ask that?” She told me that some girls at school were talking about their weight after the PE teacher weighed them in class. I was shocked—not only that their weight had been recorded, but that it had become a topic of discussion among a group of nine-year-old girls. At that moment, I realized how important it was to give her the right message—not just once, but over and over again. I told her, “Your body is strong and capable. It lets you run, dance, and play. And no matter what, you are loved exactly as you are.” That conversation sparked many more over the years, and I continue to remind her that her body is hers—not for anyone else to judge. This experience made me even more passionate about helping other parents navigate these moments. If your child is struggling with body image, here are some key things to say (and not say) to help them build a positive self-image. How to Talk to Your Child about Body Image: What to Say 1. “Your body is strong and capable.” Focusing on what the body can do rather than how it looks helps shift the emphasis from appearance to function. Instead of saying, “You look great in that outfit,” try, “Your legs help you run fast, and your arms are strong enough to climb that tree!” 2. “All bodies are different, and that’s a good thing.” Kids naturally compare themselves to others. Reassure them that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and that no one “perfect” body exists. Reinforce that diversity in appearance is normal and valuable. 3. “It’s okay to have tough days, but remember that your worth isn’t based on how you look.” Children (and adults) will have moments of self-doubt. Let them know that it’s normal to feel this way sometimes, but remind them that their value is based on who they are, not their appearance. 4. “Let’s focus on what makes you feel good.” Encourage habits that promote well-being rather than weight or appearance. Instead of saying, “You should eat healthier, ”try, “What foods make your body feel strong and energized?” or “What activities make you feel happy and confident?” 5. “I love you exactly as you are.” The simplest and most powerful statement you can make. Kids need to hear that their worth is not tied to how they look. Reassure them that they are loved unconditionally. How to Talk to Your Child about Body Image: What NOT to Say 1. “I feel so fat” or any negative comments about your own body. Children pick up on how their parents talk about themselves. If you criticize your own body, they may start looking for “flaws” in theirs. Try modeling self-acceptance by speaking kindly about your own appearance. 2. “You don’t need to worry about that” or dismissing their feelings. If your child expresses concern about their body, brushing it off with “You’re fine, don’t worry” can make them feel unheard. Instead, validate their feelings: “I hear that you’re feeling upset about this. Let’s talk about it.” 3. “Maybe you should try eating less/more” or commenting on their food choices. Statements about food can be tricky, even if they come from a place of concern. Instead of directing their eating habits, encourage mindful eating by asking, “How does that food make you feel?” and making nutritious options accessible at home. 4. “You’d look better if you…” Even subtle suggestions about changing appearance can be damaging. Avoid comments like, “That outfit would look better if you lost a little weight” or “Your hair would look nicer if you did this.” Instead, praise their individuality and personal style. 5. “You should exercise so you don’t gain weight.” Exercise should be about joy, strength, and well-being—not punishment. Encourage movement in ways that feel good, like dancing, biking, or playing outside, rather than linking it to weight control. How to Foster a Body-Positive Home Final Thoughts Your words shape how your child sees themselves. By focusing on body positivity, self-worth, and healthy habits, you can help them build confidence and resilience. If you notice ongoing distress about their body image, book a free call with me and we can explore how we can work together. Most importantly, remind your child that they are valued and loved—just as they are. For more information on parent and health coaching check out my website.

When does healthy eating become disordered? What Parents Need to Know
disordered eating, disordered eating vs eating disorders, eating disorder coaching, body dysmorphia coaching, diet culture and disordered eating, signs of disordered eating, mental health coaching, eating disorder, eating disorder coaching, health, healthy eating, healthy kids, healthy mindset for teens, Uncategorized

When Does ‘Healthy Eating’ Become Disordered? What Parents Need to Know… 

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You want to know when does healthy eating become disordered? Here is what parents need to know….As a parent, you want your teen to develop a healthy relationship with food—one that supports both their physical and mental well-being. What happens when their focus on “clean eating” or “healthy choices” starts to feel extreme? Many eating disorders begin with good intentions, making them easy to overlook until they become harmful. I have seen the “clean eating” trend be disordered many times among people of various ages. While it’s great to encourage balanced eating habits, it’s also important to recognize when “healthy eating” starts to cross the line into disordered eating. Here’s what to watch for and how to support your teen. When Does Healthy Eating Become a Problem? For many teens, an interest in nutrition, fitness, or health starts innocently. They may learn about nutrition in school, see influencers promoting “clean eating,” or decide they want to eat healthier for personal reasons. For some, this focus can become rigid and obsessive, leading to an unhealthy relationship with food. Signs That “Healthy Eating” Might Be a Red Flag: 🚩 Strict Food Rules – Cutting out entire food groups without a medical reason (e.g., no carbs, no fats, no processed foods). 🚩 Guilt Around Eating – Feeling anxious, ashamed, or upset after eating certain foods. 🚩 Obsession with Ingredients – Hyper-focusing on food labels, calories, or only eating “clean” or “whole” foods. 🚩 Skipping Social Meals – Avoiding family dinners, outings, or events because of “unhealthy” food options. 🚩 Compensating for Eating – Exercising excessively, skipping meals, or fasting to “make up” for eating certain foods. 🚩 Increased Anxiety Around Food – Showing signs of distress when faced with foods that don’t fit their “rules.” 🚩 Weight Loss or Extreme Control Over Eating – Even if they don’t appear underweight, significant weight changes or extreme rigidity around food choices can indicate a deeper issue. The Difference Between Healthy Eating and Disordered Eating The key difference between healthy eating and disordered eating is flexibility. A teen with a truly balanced approach to nutrition can enjoy a variety of foods, eat intuitively, and not feel intense guilt or anxiety around their choices. Disordered eating, on the other hand, is rigid, driven by rules, and often connected to deeper emotional struggles. How to Support Your Teen’s Relationship with Food Noticing any of these warning signs? Here are some steps you can take to help: ✅ Model Balance: Show that all foods can fit into a healthy lifestyle. Enjoy a variety of foods yourself, including both nutritious and fun choices, without labeling them as “good” or “bad.” ✅ Encourage a Positive Food Mindset: Instead of talking about food in terms of weight, focus on energy, strength, and well-being. Avoid discussing diets, calorie counts, or weight loss. ✅ Create Open Conversations: Ask about your teen’s eating habits with curiosity, not judgment. Instead of questioning their choices. Try, “I’ve noticed you seem more focused on what you’re eating lately—how are you feeling about it?” ✅ Watch for Emotional Changes:  Look for signs of anxiety, stress, or extreme routines around food, which could indicate a deeper struggle. Eating disorders often develop alongside anxiety, perfectionism, or a need for control. Trust Your Instincts and Seek Support When something feels off, trust your gut. Disordered eating can develop gradually. Early intervention makes a big difference. Whether your teen is struggling with rigid eating rules, food guilt, or body image concerns, support is available. You don’t have to navigate this alone. If you’re concerned about your teen’s relationship with food and need guidance, let’s talk. Schedule a free consultation here. CONCERNS WITH YOUR TEEN’S EATING HABITS? DOWNLOAD THIS FREE GUIDE ON HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN ABOUT THEIR EATING HABITS ….WITHOUT MAKING IT WORSE

coaching with Siah Fried, experienced parent and health coach
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How to Encourage Your Teen to Talk About Food

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How to encourage your teen to talk about food-there are some helpful tips……..Talking to your teen about food can feel like walking on eggshells. You want to encourage healthy habits, but every time you bring it up, they shut down—or worse, the conversation turns into a battle. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents struggle with this, and the good news is, there are ways to foster open, productive discussions without making food a point of tension. I’ve Been There Too… I remember working with a mom who was deeply concerned about her teenage daughter’s eating habits. Every time she asked about what her daughter was eating, the conversation either ended in silence or frustration. “I just want to make sure she’s healthy,” she told me. “But the more I try to talk about it, the more she pulls away.” This is such a common struggle. Parents come from a place of love and concern, but teens often interpret these conversations differently. That’s why finding the right approach is key—it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. Why Teens Shut Down Around Food Conversations There are many reasons a teen might avoid talking about food and eating habits: How to Encourage Healthy Eating Without Pushing Them Away 1. Make Food a Neutral, Low-Pressure Topic Instead of asking, “Did you eat enough today?” or “Are you sure that’s a healthy choice?” try shifting the focus. Talk about food in a relaxed, everyday way—mention a new recipe you’re excited to try, ask if they want to help plan meals, or invite them to cook with you. 2. Lead by Example Teens watch what we do more than they listen to what we say. If they see you enjoying a variety of foods, eating without guilt, and focusing on overall well-being instead of weight, they’ll absorb those messages over time. 3. Give Them Autonomy Instead of micromanaging their food choices, offer guidance and let them take the lead. Try phrases like, “Would you rather have eggs or yogurt for breakfast?” instead of “You should eat more protein in the morning.” This gives them a sense of control while still encouraging balance. 4. Focus on the Bigger Picture Rather than emphasizing weight or specific foods, talk about how food supports their life. If they’re an athlete, discuss how good nutrition fuels performance. If they struggle with focus, mention how balanced meals can help with energy and concentration. Keep the conversation positive and relevant to their interests. 5. Create an Environment That Supports Healthy Choices Actions speak louder than words. Keep nutritious foods easily accessible, make family meals a positive experience, and normalize variety. If your teen sees these habits as part of everyday life rather than a “should” or “must,” they’re more likely to adopt them naturally. How to Encourage Your Teen to Talk about Food: When to Step Back If your teen continues to resist talking about food, forcing the issue can do more harm than good. Instead, focus on building trust and creating a safe environment where they feel comfortable opening up when they’re ready. If you’re concerned about their eating habits or suspect deeper issues, consider reaching out to a professional for guidance. How to Encourage Your Teen to Talk about Food: Final Thoughts & Next Steps Conversations about food don’t have to be stressful. By making small shifts in how and when you talk about eating, you can support your teen in developing a balanced, lifelong relationship with food—without the power struggles. Download my FREE guide here: 4 Step Guide: How to Talk to Your Teen about Their Eating Habits….without making it worse. If this is something you’re struggling with, you don’t have to navigate it alone. I work with parents to help them feel confident in supporting their teen’s health and well-being—without conflict or shame. Visit my website for expert guidance and resources to help families implement healthy habits for both mental and physical well-being 📆 Let’s chat! Book a free consultation to explore how I can support you and your teen. Click here to schedule a time.

Warning signs and symptoms of an eating disorder
changes in eating behaviors, diet culture and disordered eating, disordered eating, disordered eating vs eating disorders, eating disorder coaching, body dysmorphia coaching, diet culture and disordered eating, signs of disordered eating, mental health coaching, early discussions, eating and anxiety, eating and guilt, eating disorder, eating disorder awareness week, eating disorder coaching, preoccupation with weight loss

How to Support Your Child Through An Eating Disorder

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Why Awareness Matters Learning how to support your child through an eating disorder starts with a deep understanding of what eating disorders are. It is helpful to learn how they develop, and the best ways to provide compassionate support. Eating disorders are not not just about food. They are often rooted in deeper emotional, social, and psychological factors. Early intervention, compassionate conversations, and informed support can make all the difference. As parents and caregivers, it’s natural to worry about your child’s relationship with food. But how we approach these conversations matters. Supporting Your Child Through An Eating Disorder: What You Can do ✅ Listen without judgment – Create a safe space for open dialogue.✅ Avoid comments about weight or appearance – Focus on well-being over body size.✅ Encourage professional support – Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.✅ Educate yourself – Understanding eating disorders helps us support our loved ones more effectively. Need Guidance: Support Your Child Through An Eating Disorder If you’re feeling unsure about how to support your child, you’re not alone. I’ve created a free resource to help parents start these sensitive conversations with confidence and care. Download my 4 step guide called “Four Steps: How to Talk to Your Teen about Their Eating Habits….without making it worse”. This week, let’s commit to awareness, understanding, and support. Together, we can create a world where healing is possible. As a Nationally Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, I bring 30 years of experience in public health. My background includes 17 years as a health and nutrition professor and 4 years as a high school health teacher. My passion for supporting individuals with eating disorders comes from both professional expertise and personal experience. Eating disorders have had profound impacts on many of my loved ones. Learning firsthand what is truly helpful in fostering healing and what can unintentionally cause harm has inspired me to support parents. My clients include parents who have struggled with an eating disorder themselves and those guiding their child through similar challenges. Eating disorders often stem from generational patterns, but the cycle can stop with you. If you’re ready to create a healthier future for yourself and your family, please  schedule a free call to explore how we can work together. An excellent resource on eating disorders is The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). According to their website, “NEDA works to advance research, build community, and raise awareness to support the nearly 30 million Americans who will experience an eating disorder in their lifetimes. Whether you have been personally affected, by an eating disorder or care about someone who has,NEDA is here to help!”

Eating Disorder Awareness Week
diet culture and disordered eating, disordered eating, disordered eating vs eating disorders, eating disorder coaching, body dysmorphia coaching, diet culture and disordered eating, signs of disordered eating, mental health coaching, eating disorder, eating disorder awareness week, eating disorder coaching, Uncategorized

Raising Awareness about Eating Disorders is Important to Me

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Raising awareness about eating disorders is important to me because various forms of eating disorders have impacted numerous people in my life. Seeing many loved ones struggle with different aspects of this disease has inspired me to support parents—both those who have faced it themselves and those guiding their child through it. An important aspect of my coaching is to guide my clients in recognizing that “eating disorder” is an umbrella term encompassing various conditions—such as disordered eating, ARFID, bulimia, anorexia, and binge eating. Understanding that eating disorders exist on a spectrum empowers my clients to approach recovery with clarity and self-compassion, paving the way for a healthier relationship with food and their bodies. Breaking the Silence: National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb 24 – Mar 2) Every 52 minutes, 1 person dies due to direct causes of an eating disorder (NEDA). Eating disorders thrive in silence. Too often, those struggling feel alone, ashamed, or misunderstood. But no one should have to face an eating disorder in isolation. This National Eating Disorders Awareness Week (February 24th–March 2nd), we join the movement to break the stigma, raise awareness about eating disorders, and ensure that everyone impacted gets the support they need. Why Eating Disorder Awareness Matters to Me Eating disorders affect millions of individuals and families, yet misconceptions and lack of understanding can make it difficult for those suffering to reach out for help. Raising awareness helps: How You Can Help You Are Not Alone Recovery is possible, and support is available. Let’s work together to ensure that no one faces an eating disorder in silence. Join us and NEDA this week in spreading the message that everyone deserves help, healing, and hope. Learn more and get involved: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/edaw Coaching for Eating Disorders Raising awareness about eating disorders is deeply important to me. I’m grateful to do this through my coaching practice. I provide support for parents who have personally experienced or are currently struggling with an eating disorder. I also support parents’ navigating their child’s challenges with eating disorders or body image concerns. One of my clients chose me as her parent coach specifically because of my personal and professional experience in this area. Having battled an eating disorder as a teenager, she sought guidance to ensure she wouldn’t unintentionally pass down disordered habits or mindsets to her daughter. Together, we worked to foster a healthier approach to food and body image. As a result, we created a more positive foundation for her family’s well-being. Client testimonial, “I originally chose Siah because of her work and understanding of eating disorders which I had previously struggled with and didn’t want to pass on to my daughter. But our parent coaching quickly went beyond that to cover all sorts of topics, and I have been so grateful to have Siah as an objective resource and coach in a world where parenting for the first time can be so difficult. She has made me more confident as a mom and truly helped to transform my husband and my’s parenting approach for the better. I would recommend her to anyone!” Normalizing conversations about eating disorders is crucial to me I help my clients uncover the root causes of their eating disorder. We explore the biological, psychological, environmental, and social factors that contribute to their thoughts and behaviors. This deeper understanding reduces stigma and self-blame, fostering the healing mindset necessary to overcome this complex and debilitating illness. Click this link to book a free call and explore how I can support you! Find out more about my coaching programs at https://siahfriedcoach.com/.

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Redefining Success in a World of Unreal Expectations

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In today’s world, the definition of success is often unclear, especially for young people. Redefining success in a world of unrealistic expectations can provide a strong foundation for your entire family’s growth and future. Social media’s unrealistic portrayals of success can further complicate things by masking the struggles behind achievements. Society tends to value high grades, athletic success, and excellence in extracurricular activities, but these markers of success don’t always reflect what’s truly important to families. Many families I speak to don’t even realize that these societal pressures are contributing to stress and feelings of inadequacy. Instead of focusing on external expectations, redefining success based on your family’s values, and your child’s individual strengths, passions, and interests, can be a refreshing and healthy path forward. This approach fosters resilience, reduces stress, and supports better mental health. Have you ever taken a moment to define success for yourself or your child? Understanding what success means to both parents and kids can be an eye-opening exercise. In parenting workshops I offer, I ask parents and children to define success. Many parents were surprised to see that their kids valued achievements like good grades, college acceptance, athleticism, and popularity more than qualities like kindness or giving back—values parents often prioritize. This difference in perspectives is an opportunity for families to connect, communicate, and align their values. Here’s a simple activity you can do to define or redefine success with your child: How to Define/Redefine Success with Your Child: While it’s great when the lists align, differences can spark important conversations. One mother shared how her daughter ranked straight A’s and attending a “good” college as her top measures of success. The mother, however, valued traits like kindness, self-confidence, and a strong work ethic above academic achievements. This discussion helped both of them redefine success. The daughter felt relieved when her mom emphasized finding a college that matched her interests and personality rather than focusing on prestige. Navigating Unrealistic and Realistic Expectations for Success Conversations about success can be a real eye-opener for parents. One mother realized that without ongoing discussions about what success truly means, outside influences—such as peers, coaches, teachers, and social media—might define it for her child. Another parent reflected on how she placed the highest value on grades and athletic achievements as markers of her daughter’s success, a mindset shaped by societal values like financial status, prestigious job titles, and elite colleges. While these external measures aren’t inherently wrong, relying solely on them can overshadow what truly matters to a family. Redefining Success Based on Strengths and Interests It’s crucial for families to reflect on their own values and align them with their child’s unique strengths and interests. Doing so fosters a healthier, more resilient mindset for both parents and children. This shift helps reduce feelings of failure and replaces them with a sense of empowerment, recognizing that success looks different for everyone. In a world that often prioritizes external markers of achievement, such as grades and job titles, redefining success is especially important for developing brains. External pressures can harm self-esteem, increase stress, and contribute to mental health challenges. By valuing personal strengths and individual interests, families can build a foundation for lifelong resilience and well-being. Empower Your Child to Redefine Success to Fit Their Individual Path As your child grows, it’s crucial to keep an open dialogue about what’s truly important. By understanding each other’s perspectives, parents can guide their children toward becoming lifelong learners rather than focusing solely on climbing the success ladder. This helps build resilience, as children feel empowered to define their own path in a complex and sometimes overwhelming world. Encouraging your child to think critically about success, and aligning their values, is a powerful step toward fostering both resilience and good mental health in today’s challenging world. Adapted from the book, Persuasive Push vs. Shameless Shove: A New Parenting Paradigm. Find our more about this book here

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Parenting Neurodivergent Children: How to Build Connection and Confidence

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The Challenge When Joanna* and James* reached out to Siah, they were at their breaking point. Parenting two neurodivergent children—one with ADD and one with Autism—was emotionally and physically draining. They craved connection to parents with similar parenting challenges. James worked long hours, leaving Joanna feeling isolated and overwhelmed as the primary caregiver. She knew she needed to build her community and increase her confidence, but was unsure what to do or who to turn to for support. As they move through their journey of parenting neurodivergent children, they n Joanna often compared her family to the “perfect” lives she saw on social media, which only deepened her sadness. She felt it was unfair that others seemed to have it so much easier and struggled with a sense of isolation, believing no one could truly understand her challenges. “I felt so alone, like no one else was going through what I was. Seeing other families who seemed to have it all together just made me feel worse.” The Approach: Move FORWARD Coaching Through the Move FORWARD program, Siah provided Joanna with the tools, support, and perspective to regain confidence and find a sense of community. The program provided Joanna with a fresh perspective and practical parenting strategies by focusing on the following areas The Results Joanna experienced a significant shift in her mindset and approach to parenting: “Talking with Siah was a turning point for me. She helped me see that I wasn’t alone and that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with my family. I started reaching out to other parents in similar situations, and it was such a relief to connect with people who truly understood.” She began reconnecting with old friends and found an online community of parents with neurodivergent children. This gave her a safe space to share her challenges and celebrate her victories. “I’ve learned to stop comparing my family to others. Instead, I’m focusing on what makes our family unique and special. Siah helped me feel proud of how far we’ve come.” A Brighter Future Today, Joanna feels more confident and supported. She has tools to manage her overwhelm, a stronger connection with her husband, and a growing sense of community. She’s embraced her role as a parent of neurodivergent children with resilience and grace. “The Move FORWARD program didn’t just help me cope—it gave me the confidence to thrive. I no longer feel isolated, and I’m so grateful for the connections and strategies I’ve gained through working with Siah.” Your Journey Starts Here Parenting can feel isolating, especially when facing unique challenges. But you’re not alone, and support is available. If you’re ready to find balance, build resilience, and connect with others who understand your journey, the Move FORWARD program is here to help. Contact us today to take the first step toward a more confident, connected future. (*Names changed for privacy.)

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How To Handle Kids’ Tantrums With Parental Self-Regulation

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When your child has a tantrum, especially one that seems out of the ordinary for their age, it can trigger all kinds of emotions—frustration, fear, or even self-doubt as a parent. How we respond in those moments can make a world of difference, not only for our child but for us as parents. One of the most effective strategies I’ve learned is the concept of anchoring yourself to be a safe harbor for your child. This approach, inspired by the Jai Institute’s ANCHOR and HARBOR acronyms, has helped me shift from reacting to responding with calm and connection during challenging moments. Let me share a personal story about how this framework changed how I handled one of my chidrens’ most memorable tantrums. A Personal Moment of Parenting Growth Years ago, my then 8-year-old son had a HUGE tantrum—something I hadn’t seen from him in years. I was overwhelmed with frustration and fear. I kept thinking, Isn’t he too old for this behavior? What am I doing wrong? At first, I reacted with frustration, expressing my disbelief at his behavior. But my instinct told me there was something deeper at the root of this outburst. I knew I needed to approach it differently. Everything in me wanted to yell or pick him up and put him in his room to calm down. But instead, I tried the opposite. I picked him up, held him close, and calmly reflected on how to manage my child’s tantrum. Desperately tapping into my maternal instincts to manage the tantrum, I posed a question that hadn’t crossed my mind until that moment. I calmly asked “Are you upset because your big sister leaves for college tomorrow?” The change was immediate. He stopped crying, took a deep breath, and began to calm down. A couple of hours later, he came to me and said, “I’m sorry I acted that way, but I really don’t want her to leave for college.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. He had seen me cry, seen his sister cry, and had heard us talk about her leaving for years. Yet, I hadn’t realized how deeply he was feeling it himself. When Kids’ Tantrums Test Your Limits Moments like these remind us that tantrums aren’t just “bad behavior.” They are often a child’s way of expressing overwhelming emotions they can’t yet articulate. Even when a tantrum seems extreme—like when a neighbor’s kid is screaming loudly or yelling for help—it’s important to remember that the child is struggling, not trying to manipulate or embarrass anyone. In fact, I once heard a story about a neighborhood kid having a tantrum and screaming for help. The kid’s tantrum escalated to the point where their cries sounded like they were in serious distress. Neighbors grew concerned, some even questioning if it was a sign of abuse. But in reality, the child was expressing feelings of fear and frustration that they didn’t know how to manage. The situation highlighted how crucial it is for parents to stay calm and regulated during these moments—not just for their child’s sake but also to model emotional control for those around them. Using ANCHOR and HARBOR in Emotional Moments This moment reinforced for me the importance of self-regulation. Instead of reacting impulsively, I anchored myself to be a safe harbor for him. When I stayed calm and focused on connection, I gave him the space to express what he couldn’t put into words during his outburst. I recall countless child development experts emphasizing that every behavior a child exhibits has an underlying reason. Here’s how the ANCHOR and HARBOR frameworks can guide you through moments like this: ANCHOR: Ground Yourself First HARBOR: Be Their Safe Space Why Self-Regulation Matters When parents self-regulate, it sets the tone for the entire interaction. Children learn that big emotions are manageable and that their parents are a safe place to turn during distress. Previously when I had resorted to yelling and and sending a kid throwing a tantrum to their room, it only escalated the situation. My reactive behavior likely made my kids feel unsafe and unable to process or express their true emotions. This time, I was more aware of my body and reactions. By anchoring myself, I could offer my son the calm presence he needed to work through his emotions. Takeaways for Parents By anchoring yourself and being a safe harbor, you can navigate even the most challenging moments with your child. You’ll not only help them feel seen and supported but also model resilience and emotional regulation—skills that will serve them for a lifetime. What has helped you stay calm during your child’s tantrums? Let’s continue the conversation—share your tips or experiences below!

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